Things you should never say to a comedian

We polled some comedians to find out the worst things that someone had said to them after a gig. The results are in!

Here’s our top things to never say in front of a breathing comedian:

1. You’re funny for a *insert gender / sexuality / ethnic group*

2. You can use this one! *insert terrible joke you stole*

3. *Heckles throughout show* I enjoyed that!

4. What’s your real job?

5. I’ve thought of a better ending for your joke, mate.

6. I could be a comedian. I’m the joker of my group.

7. You’re not that funny in person.

8. How come you’re not on telly?

9. *ANYTHING* while we’re on stage

10. *ANYTHING* if you’re on a stag / hen do

11. I love your accent. I could listen to you just talk all day.

12. My mate is funny as well

13. That wasn’t heckling, I was helping

14. My mum said I should be a comedian

15. Can we be friends?

16. What’s your best joke?

17. Do you actually know what you’re going to say before you come on stage?

18. You’re not that funny in person.

19. I really like Russell Howard.

20. You have the potential to be funny.

21. I was thinking about getting into stand up.

22. Oh you’re a comedian? Tell me another joke, then.

23. Tits! (Whilst the comedian on stage is female, on international women’s day)

24. Can I have your number?